I'm making the most definitive list of favorite movies ever.

For every year, I'm listing every movie I've seen and compare them all to each other asking one question; Which movie do I like more. Movies that score in the 80th percentile or higher, advance to the next round: Favorite of the Decade. After each Decade is done, an All Time list will be formed.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Trailer: Narnia

Fuck it's Waaaaaaaaaay too long title. It Narnia now. They spelt it big to say so.

I, traditionally don't like, can't stand, don't buy into transport fantasy. Okay, I almost hate it. Whenever characters from our world go to fantasy land, I wanna gag on something. Right now I should go get a bottle of ipecac syrup.

Transport Fantasy is when you come from a "real" world to one that admit's its less real, and less valid than your real world. They'll have chacters that hate their life in the real world and would rather be somewhere else, and when they get somewhere else, they're offerend everthing they could ask for and all they ever ask for is to go home. This shit always feels like it's fantasy, written by people who hate fantasy and want you to pull your head out of fantasy books and join the real world by going to church.

Antiescapist propaganda = Bad escapism.

But .... the trailer didn't look bad. It actually looks pretty good, considering the unfortunate transport fantasy thing.

Checklist of offenders...
Wizard of Oz, yes. I can't believe people like it... I've known people who like it, but can't watch Casablanca or Citizen Kane cause they're old. (How the fuck can this asshole hate the Wizard of Oz? A: CBS. Before cable and home Video, they beat this movie to death. Then they aired it as counter programming to NBC showing the broadcast premiere of Return of the Jedi.) Now, I know keeping a woman who want's you a little dead on a chain, long enough to choke you to death with IS as stupid as having a bucket of water, which will melt you instantly, hanging on the wall. But, A: Jabba could assume that Boba Fett would be watching his back, B: What can leai do, she's a girl? Sexism doesn't come in on the Wicked Witch's side...

Neverending Story, No. Though the boy is transported there in the end, most of the movie is exempt from this fault, and EVERYONE wants to Vomit at that movies ending. We still love it anyway.

Harry Potter Series, No. Hogwarts is in our world.

Flash Gordon, walking that fine line there.... kinda iffy. For the Dino pic we'll say yes. It get's that feel that makes transport fantasy so sickening when Flash plays football. Such drek.

Buck Rodgers and Farscape... At their best, No. At their worst, hell yes.

Labrynth, Very guilty, BUT not vomit enducing... but maybe the ending with them in her room should be... Labrynth is a good example of getting away with it...

When I think of others, I'll add em here...

Masters of the Universe... the one with our Friends Monica and Tom Paris from Voyager... Eternia is a perfectly reasonable setting for a motion picture, no Skeletor would rather conquer suburbia, cause the real world is more important than your toys. The steam engine and the telescope started out as toys, as did electricity... James Watt, Galaleio and Benji Franklin shouldn't have played with toys either, is that what they're trying to say? Fuck those squares. I like all the toys in my office, and trust people a lot less who don't own toys.

Verne mentioned a list of 'em to me....

The Pagemaster, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, one of the Beastmaster flicks... yes that old D&D cartoon... shit, that was thismorning, and I can't remember, I need to start taking notes.

Ones I should almost pile on to this pile of wretch... The Last Starfighter... and Flight of the Navigator. They're cose enough at times to almost make one sick, espicially Navigator. But then, really Navigator is basically the same movie as E.T. kinda... ok E.T. is a masterpiece, I profess to hate it and it still makes me cry. Every time. If you ever want to dare your physical constitution at how much E.T. could have sucked the life right out of you, watch Mac and Me. If.... IF you make it to the end credits, you may be half greek god, or from Krypton.

Fumio: Jungle book or Tarzan.Fumio: it's characters taken out of their environment.Fumio: ExplorersFumio: Trasure Planet (Island?)Fumio: Secret Garden... or little princess I don't rememberFumio: GooniesFumio: Winnie the Pooh (They are stuffed animals of Christopher RobinFumio: Spirited Away and LaputaFumio: Galaxy QuestFumio: StargateFumio: Tron?Fumio: Back to the FutureFumio: Blue Yonder... do you remeber that one?

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