I'm making the most definitive list of favorite movies ever.

For every year, I'm listing every movie I've seen and compare them all to each other asking one question; Which movie do I like more. Movies that score in the 80th percentile or higher, advance to the next round: Favorite of the Decade. After each Decade is done, an All Time list will be formed.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Huckabee Hates stars of I Heart Huckabees?

I haven't seen the movie I Heart Huckabees, but, apparently Gov. Mike Huckabee hates it. Not only that, he said it was the worst movie ever made, and he hated the cast, or said they should never work again... So I guess he hates...

Jason Schwartzman. (Jason Schwartzman was in Marie Antoinette (2006) with Rip Torn
Rip Torn was in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) with Chuck Norris)

Isabelle Huppert. (Isabelle Huppert was in Heaven's Gate (1980) with Kai Wulff
Kai Wulff was in Top Dog (1995) with Chuck Norris)

Dustin Hoffman. (Dustin Hoffman was in Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007) with Jason Bateman Jason Bateman was in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) with Chuck Norris)

Lily Tomlin. (Lily Tomlin was in Krippendorf's Tribe (1998) with Stephen Root (I)
Stephen Root (I) was in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) with Chuck Norris)

Jude Law. (Jude Law was in Cold Mountain (2003) with John Bridson (II)
John Bridson (II) was in Top Dog (1995) with Chuck Norris)

Mark Wahlberg. (Mark Wahlberg (I) was in Shooter (2007) with Alan C. Peterson
Alan C. Peterson was in Hitman, The (1991) with Chuck Norris)

Naomi Watts. (Naomi Watts was in Ring Two, The (2005) with Gary Cole (I)
Gary Cole (I) was in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) with Chuck Norris)

Angela Grillo. (Angela Grillo was in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) with Ben Stiller, Ben Stiller was in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) with Chuck Norris)

Oh, last name.... Ger Duany was in I Heart Huckabees (2004) with Bob Gunton
Bob Gunton was in Missing Pieces (1991) with Bernie Kopell
Bernie Kopell was in Cutter, The (2005) with Chuck Norris...

So this movie is basically as close to Chuck Norris as you are, way to go! You come off being everyones friend, but everyone in this movie has worked with people who have worked with Chuck Norris, that means they're like the people who work for YOU! So, by hating people who made I Heart Huckabee's... and thereby, BETRAYING your precious Chuck Norris :( You've implied you HATE people who work with people who worked with Chuck Norris... Your own staff. Shame on you, for shaming Chuck.

You're lucky, Lucky Chuck Norris doesn't cry Gov Huckabee, cause that might have done it...

Movies: Meet the Robinsons and Next

Really not much to say here, no reason, just not woth the time to ramble on. Meet the Robinsons' I'll be buying you... by the way, you were WAY better than that damn rat movie. Next, Critics were a little hard on you, we sorta enjoyed you, but DAMN, maybe, MAYBE that was because the DVD menu screamed, I say SCREAMED "THIS MOVIE WILL SUCK, EJECT IT, BREAK THE DISC!!!" Come on, Transfomers had one of the most beautiful menu screens EVER. This, people make Home video DVD's for grandparents with more compelling menu's... Christ! When I saw the menu, I apologized for having rented a turd, I'm not kidding. But, this movie wasn't bad, not a big thinking movie... special features to PUKE ON... The promotional behind the scenes talking about how great everyone is... They SUCK, leave them off. That goes for all movies, even the turds... speaking of shit and Next... There's an FX shot at the end, that will be laughed at by CG teachers at community classes all across the country. They even say in the featurette that it was last minute... and did not look anywhere close to the rest of the movie, hell, the guys who did the shot, probably wished it had been cut... and we'd know if they had if the movie had any good features. Oh well.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Movie: AVPR

WOW!!!! What a debut for essentially a creative team that I'd never heard of! Thank you Thank you! Please, PLEASE make the next one as kick ass if not Ass-kickier! Oh, My son is looking forward to the next like 7 AVP movies. You guys now have a generation thinking this is better than James Cameron! It's not. Bless your heart for trying, and for making the best Alien film since Aliens, and the best Predator one since the original.

***Please mention in the DVD commentary if Lt. Woods was a Battletech reference!!!!!!***

Damn, this was FUN. More, I say MORE movies should be like this!

I Sooooooooooooooooooooo hope now that National Treasure and I am Legend are as fun!

Shit, I read what I typed above and I sound like a 10 year old girl in 1990... gross me out.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Movie: The Astronaut Farmer

I wasn't going to blog about this one...
And, after typing it, I deleted it. In America, we're not allowed opinions anymore, no one is. Kinda sad really. I really empathized with this guy, and well, what a sad world we live in.

Think we're allowed opinions?

Putin is Time's Man of the Year! Because Al Gore is to much to the left... Someone ruined our country.

Yea, Dear Time, Quit having whatever of the year anymore. "You" was LAME... and Putin, well, let's hope that one isn't as regrettable as it could be.... Way to go.

Seriously, a former Presidential Candidate wins and Oscar and a Nobel Prize in the same year, and he's not person of the year? WTF?

If you'd seen this movie, my rant may make more sense... screw it. The internet is a lousy for of self expression.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Movies: Underdog, Knocked Up and The Man From Earth!!!

I squeezed in 3 tonight... and don't really want to say a damn thing about them, which is a shame, since I keep this for myself, and my initial reactions to look back on, like my daughter's scrapbook's things, this is my movie watching scrapbook...
Underdog, the kids loved it, they'll deny it one day. It's that good, they'll deny how bad it really is. My wife HATED Knocked Up... So much so that I almost wanted to defend it... but, I DON'T CARE, UNDERDOG, KNOCKED UP.... So What...
Last night, I saw Stardust... and tonight The Man From Earth... These types of films are bad for me, they make me crave the next hit, DAMN, I want another fix of discovery, a fix of goodness unseen, I could watch a dozen movies. City of God did this, I went on a two month DVR bender of every movie I could fit on the thing. But I need to get things done and to work. Podcasts may be replaced, I should just sit the portable at my desk while I work.... Oh Man, two movie highs in two nights! Happiness! I wish the wife had watched Man From Earth with me, I'll have to BUY IT... and you should to.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Movies: Simpsons and Stardust.

Well, one movie makes fun of me for being a sucker for paying to see it in a theater, and the other one makes the world feeling like suckers for spending so much time in theaters with Spider-Man 3, and not it! So, to Simpsons, I say, I well spent a dollar. And we, sort of enjoyed, but Stardust had us not remembering what movie we watched before it.

Dear Stardust, I wanted REALLY wanted to see you in a theater. I'll blame myself, I could never blame you. I didn't look hard enough. We were on vacation, not a theater anywhere near those parts, no cell phones or internet either. It seems you were gone, or at least gone to the small screens that punish you for not seeing it opening weekend. I'm glad you found love from audiences abroad, it warms my heart. In an odd way, this is how I thought I may react to The Golden Compass... and while no critic I read compared compass to you, you were surely in their heart. You are NOT The Princess Bride. But, you're just as classic and lovable. I hope you grow into peoples hearts and collections...

Okay, crushing on a movie here... but most movies have the wife and I lounging, some get us sitting up or leaning forward... this had us sitting like Lady and the Tramp, and by the end I couldn't speak, I would have LOST it, and I mean, as in...


"You'll flood the whole compartment!"

That line is from Star Trek II, a CLASSIC movie. You know it before you even walk out of the theater. Stardust, joins the Pantheon of movies.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Movie: The Golden Compass

How can a movie, open at #1, make 20 MILLION MORE than the #1 movie the previous year and be panned for under performing?

Is it; Gee, this movie must be on the wrong side of a whole bunch of idiots made up fucking culture war, or Well Narnia was Christian, and Compass is Atheist so this PROVES Christian movies are BIGGER and BETTER...

You know what? There may be even a million or so people in this country who CARE about that issue who hate people for feeling different things, but I'll be the ONLY person, maybe to give a good reason WHY Compass got 40 Million LESS than Narnia in opening...
Narnia was MUCH more heavily promoted, and had a book series parents may have read as a child. Compass didn't have as old of a book series, Spiderwick is going to have this same issue, as is Inkheart. But the biggest thing is getting those toys in happy meals. Robert Rodriguez credits getting in the McDonald's happy meals with Spy Kids success. You have to have a good movie to back it up, but New Line apparently didn't have 10 minutes for a 10 minute film school on any of his DVD's... (Oh, I believe that's on the Once upon a time in Mexico DVD, could be mixed up, but I think that's where it is...)

Enough about their pathetic business stuff! This flick gave me CLOCKWORK, Airships, Nicole Kidman (WAIT.....!)

Nicole Kidman?

You can't blame Atheism or the Fantasy Genre on any ANY of this movies failings!!!! She's box office POISON. Her highest grossing movie is Happy Feet..... HAPPY FEET! I didn't even remember her being in HAPPY FEET!!! This explains why I thought during the moive, "Sigh, Nicole Kidman's finally in a good movie!" Gee, Nicole Kidman, and No HAPPY MEAL... What were you THINKING!!!!

Anyway, Clockwork Technology, Airships, Nicole Kidman in a good movie, Daniel Craig, OKAY, just a GREAT CAST, Armored Polar Bears....

BY THE WAY...... I LOT of theaters are in Malls now, they tend to be relocating to them, This WEEKEND on the movie calender sucks... I'm one of those people, and there are A LOT of us, who do their holiday shopping, whenever, we're usually 80% done by Thanksgiving. I've been avoiding malls. They're impossible to park at... Oh and Weather SUCKED this weekend.

Armored POLAR BEARS. I drank a COKE! It's that good. Good enough to drink a Coke During. It's not Sparta or my friend Optimus Prime. It's a First part, not a stand alone movie, but that could be a WONDERFUL way to have a trilogy be.

Friday, December 07, 2007

The TALK of the net, the Speed Racer Trailer....

The first 30 seconds of this trailer may be the finest trailer ever!!!
But, as my 5 year old pointed out.... "THERE's a 6. That's NOT the MACH 5!" Back this up.... You've made a LIVE action SPEED RACER MOVIE, the first one. And wanted to be a living version of the cartoon, groundbreaking if not for the visual style of the Flintsdtones movies, but you'll fly in the face of that... You'll even cast John Goodman!!! You take all that risk, but we're not getting the Mach 5????? It looks like Speed gets a "BETTER" Car in this movie, The Mach 6 maybe????

A geeky conversation may go like this; "Which car would you want in a race? The Mach 5, Tracks from transformers, Bumblebee, or K.I.T.T?" "Bumblebee from the Bay movie?" "Yea, yea, that one..." The underlying questionis, which car is better than the Mach 5? BUT, in SPEED RACER, no car is supposed to be bettter than the Mach 5.

So if you made Doctor Who, would The Doctor accept a replacement for The Tardis?????????

So if you made Star Wars, would Han Solo accept a replacement for Millenium Falcon?????????

Roy Rogers wouldn't replace Trigger!

Roy Rogers would have made a better Speed Racer movie.....

HOW THE HELL COULD YOU!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I apologize, but this trailer called for a tantrum!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Education is important, so please practice your alphabet.

Best / worst movies of the year noms so far....

Lessee, movies I've seen this year, from this year....

Pathfinder (Damn phat!!!)
Epic Movie (dumb)
TMNT (cool)
Beowulf (Not great... BUT Very good)
Bridge to Terabithia (We have other names for this thing, whose name does not deserve to be spoken)
Ghost Rider (Best Ghost Rider Movie EVER!)
Blades of Glory (Ugh, but I LOVE the North Korean Video)
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (Likey, me likey...)
Live Free or Die Hard (Meh....)
Ratatouille (The movie whose name will not be spoken snds you it's regards, from Hell you piece of Rat shit!)
300 (THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Spider-Man 3 (THIS IS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!)
Shrek the Third (replace hi with u)
Transformers (Just PRIME)
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (Ran out of steam a movie short of a trilogy... you FUCKS, could have given us ANYTHING for the underworld, and we got SAND!!!, could have done that on no budget in the 60's for TV! I paid 60 buck to take the family to this turd, and you give me SAND, SCREW YOU!)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Worst Potter movie yet, and still a solid for the year...)
Golden Compass (Wonderful)
Simpsons (Funny, very funny, A year from now I'll forget everything in it!)
Stardust (I'm almost romantically in love with this movie, and I can say that the week I got BLADE RUNNER on DVD... Pinch me... Is it more loveable than Blade Runner.... Not a fair question....)
Underdog (Ugh!)
Knocked Up (Matt and I shall ARGUE)
The Man From Earth (Make room in the pantheon boys, this one's comin up!)
The Astronaut Farmer (Good, but probably not a contender)
AVPR (Wow!!!!!!!!!!!! That GOOD Movie!!!!)

Should We be on the list?
Invincible Iron Man (AWESOME)
Doctor Strange (Just as great as Iron Man)
Superman Doomsday (A DAMN FINE SUPERMAN Flick)
Blade Runner : Final Cut (Most years you were re-released, you deserved a best picture oscar... you're one of the finest pieces of anything ever shot on file, and when I was 7 years old TOLD me I loved brunettes, large rooms, slanted buildings flying cars, detectives in trenchcoats, and SO MUCH more... Blade Runner you gave me Cyberpunk and Anime, notably Akira... I love you so too...)

Hope to see before the end of the year;
I am Legend (16 YEARS of waiting!!!!!)
National Treasure 2