I'm making the most definitive list of favorite movies ever.

For every year, I'm listing every movie I've seen and compare them all to each other asking one question; Which movie do I like more. Movies that score in the 80th percentile or higher, advance to the next round: Favorite of the Decade. After each Decade is done, an All Time list will be formed.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Movie: The Day the Earth Stood Still

Okay, Peter Jackson remade King Kong, Tim Burton re-imagined Planet of the Apes and Someone monkeyed around to call this movie Day the Earth Stood Still.
  • Why is Keanu called Klatuu? He's a MUCH different character (More like Neo, only doing things with his superpowers instead of being a useless lump for two money and time wasting sequels) So, like a `90's Godzilla, he's Klatuu in name only.
  • Was Prof Barnhart relevant? He's in one scene.
  • And, I know I was one among many who hated the very idea of Gort being absent from the movie, but... Gort did not belong in this movie. His intro effects scream of being a late stage change in the production. If Klatuu's actual form would only frighten us, why does Gort have the meaty hands of a human, is that all the more alien you guys look? I doubt it. Lots of movies should sometimes cave to the fanboys, but now mistakes are being made by doing this (Gambit in Wolverine's origin of all places.).
  • I've been saying Gort this whole time, this pile calls him; G.O.R.T.... It stands for something... (behold my wikiknowledge) Genetically Organized Robotic Technology! Seriously, donate a buck a year to Wikipedia, they're a great resource for all this useless knowledge that keeps us from mass suicide do to culture-wide boredom.
  • BUT, In the theater, GORT in the silo thingy... Awesome visual. See I said something nice, but onto flaying this movie.
  • The President she works for must be the biggest dick and the dumbest loser in the universe. Aliens land, and he sends the Secretary of Defense. WAIT. You may be thinking, that was the same situation as in Transformers, but it isn't. In Transfomers a helicopter lands at a military base, shoots the hell out of the place, and then in short order goes after Air-Force One. That's safely in the hands of the SECDEF. But Klatuu, he asks to talk, even after having been shot. He ASKS TO TALK, and one of the dumbest character in the history of film says no. Way to kill the human race bitch!
  • She has the silliest line of the year. After multiple montages of mass evacuations and stock market crashes, the works. Kathy Bates says; "We don't want to start a panic."
I could go on and on... I'm bored bitching up this shit-fest, and I'll probably on my end of year list, say it's better than the Dark Knight... shit the commandments.. Sorry Dark Knight, can you forgive me Dark Knight? I'll say three Hail Rachel Dawes and pray the Utility Belt before I go to bed.

A few last thoughts on a movie I've been excessively hard on; If we throw out the names of the characters, it bears about as much resemblence to the original movie as E.T. did. The title does fit, and there are some good visuals of Gort.

I'd love this movie, but my wife thinks I hated it. I needed a Tums afterward. I really would love to be able to get past your wretched title, and the meaningless few minutes... minutes of crap and name service... that A) are the only things connecting it to the original, and B) made this movie crap, aside from Jr. I'm not going to bitch about Jaden Smith, he's 10 I'd rather bitch about what the adults were responsible for, like writing the most obnoxious kid since a problem child movie. I wanted Keanu to kick him off that little bridge. It was for the most part... kinda decent until I thought about it. This one just bugged me, especially with so many characters being really boneheaded, all the while it has some weird corporate assigned identity of being a remake of a movie that it's so barely connected to.

So, mostly I'm pissed at the wasted opportunity here. Remaking The Day the Earth Stood still could have been something very special. Whatever this movie was in the heads of the filmmakers, could have been too! But the amalgamation of those two ideas will befuddle me for a long time.

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