Redboxed: Dragonlance

Took me a while to get to this one, I was trying to find art for it. Then a friend sent me some.... Wow, this one was all about wishful thinking. Looking across the geekscape, were in Shangri-La right now... You can't look at that Last poster for Iron Man, and not think to yourself... "I'm dreaming." I'm not a huge fan of Iron Man by any means, I really enjoy the character, but he's one of these marvel B-Lister's... Marvel B-Lister: EVERY Marvel Character With their own title who's not Spider Man, X-Men or Hulk. Iron Man's just some B-List character, The poster looks like the type Wizard magazine used to always put together... or it looks like a poster like you'd see in Last Action Hero or the video store in Lost World. Golden Compass, 300, there was a time that movies like these, we knew we'd never see in the theater... Now they're a common occurrence... We're so far into geek heaven, we're getting Indiana Jones... No, we're farther than that, we're getting a REAL sequel to Heavy Metal!

On the Home Video fromnt, We've had GREAT movies from Iron Man Doctor Strange, we've seen Superman Doomsday... Superman Doomsday, a storyline I really didn't like, somehow became a DVD I really enjoyed. Add to that Justice League New frontier...
And Dragonlance is the old type of "Get the shaft and accept the crap geek!

This is my nightmare of what happened to this movie:
An incompetent Buisnessjerkwad wakes up in the morning, He thinks to himself; "Fuck you NERD, I went to Buisnesstechnical-prep school, I spent 19 months getting wasted on beer in the Philippines, beating people like you over the head I don't care how much you hate me, cause we, WE RULE THE WORLD!!! Now, I have to go have some executive decision over yer fucking Nerd Flick Dragonlance, Lick my shitty asshole you fucking Nerd! Movies for virgins, film at eleven! FUCKING GEEKS. Oh the movie, do as little as possible, dirty T-shirt fat slobs in their mother's basements will buy it anyway... they'll bitch about it online, generating enough word of mouth to other nerds that we'll make more on the second one, no matter how shitty this virgin Night-lite is!" Like 2 minutes after that meeting, he was calling his IT department to fix his blackberry, since the important shit he needed to get to was his fantasy football scores... what a nerd... I hate that guy! Not only that, but, this movie must have had a budget of the change in my Vacuum cleaner, and was a complete disappointment. Mr. Buisnessjerkwad is who I'll blame.

Or I'll have to go on some disrespectful rant about how each of the characters are exactly for LOTR... Oh F-- it... I couldn't even find the DVD cover art for a few months...

Redboxed: D-War and 3:10 to Yuma

Dnag, took me a few days to get around to this one, or these two I should say. Anyway, Dragon Wars... So, from my understanding, It's like the Korean Jerry Sienfeld said to a studio, hey I want to make the biggest budget movie this country has ever made, and I'm writing it, directing it, and forming my own effects studio, and they let him. Okay... It'd never EVER happen over here, and this might be a cautionary tale as to why... The action is beautiful... but oh my, this film doesn't even feel done. It's like the lions share of FX were complete, and they removed the "SCENE MISSING" Frames and let it go out. It's an awesome effort! But it's a bad movie. A very fun bad movie... which by the end of it, when you can't take any more, the ending was very cool, and then the credits just... roll... SCENE MISSING. So, I take that back, it's not a bad movie, it's a Collection of shots, with some scenes, dialouge, A GREAT score, and um... yea, it's NOT A MOVIE. I did get a feel for the story, it wasn't told, it's something you piece together while holding a fart in, or picking your nose.

Then there's 3:10 to Yuma. Yes it's the best western since Unforgiven. I can't think of many westerns since then, but, this is one of the best movies I've ever seen, that included cowboy hats. Okay, I liked it alot... and now I'm bored of typing.

Movie: I am Legend SPOILER RANT

I need to rant, a spoiler filled therapy rant. I've been waiting for ... damn ages, lemme see well over 10 years. Wikipedia says 1994, Hell it may be longer, but maybe that's about right. I've been so SO looking forward to this movie... and to quoute my friend who saw it with me...

"The movie died with the dog."

This thing was GREAT, the whole first half, I was loving and loving... This is not a case of "I was expecting too much" "Waiting so long got my hope up" All that expectation PAID OFF, at first. The hunting in the mustang, the flashbacks to the evacuation of New York, even the dogs walking in line with the sun... This thing was all but perfect.. Fuck it, The opening audio, the BIG idea of the viral cure for cancer, IT WA S PERFECT.

The that woman shows up... Fine. Another survivor... Well, not the LAST MAN ON EARTH after all... fine... wait God and Butterflies.... GOD AND BUTTERFLIES!!!! Bullshit!

So, if they're supposed to survive the hand grenade... In the thing, where thay said there was enough room.... GET IN, TOSS THE GRENADE, and LIVE!!!!!!!!

AND IT ENDS WITH A THOMAS KINCADE BIT OF SCENERY. He wasn't LEGEND, he didn't MATTER!!!! He didn't even matter. YOU RUINED THIS STORY. Screw this movie.

Why, WHY did you have to put that ending on it. I've NOTHING against him dying, but it needs to make sense. Other survivors... The RATS are infected. The disease has the rat population, that 10 foot wall in Vermont does nothing for them.. There was military there, why weren't they broadcasting!?!?!?!?!?!?

AND HOW DID THAT BITCH DRIVE ACROSS THE LACK OF BRIDGES. Did her car, Bery CLEAN car, SWIM to Manhattan?

This was PERFECT, and then it died with the dog.

BTW, Spider-Man 3 says THANKS!