It's Wednesday, do you know which comics to get?

UPDATE: Reviews completed!
Ya, I skipped last week. Well, Last week I only picked up the new Rouge Squadron # 2... that was it. Not enough to go to McDonald's with. Actually, while I may seem to heap buckets of praise on Dark Horse's Star Wars line, Rouge Squadron #1 is taking me longer to read the first issue, yup it's a bathroom reader, than our last art race to cross the finish line. Next post I promise... maybe... On with the week's comics!!!!

Walking Dead #23
I know, or at least I think I've said here before, that comics can be a lot like television. This week is more that way than most weeks, but maybe it's because the first two comics I got EVERY month were G.I.Joe and Transformers 20 years ago. Maybe it's just me, but somehow, those 22 pages had an equivalency with 20 minutes of television, a half hour show minus the commercials. I'm not saying a comic book NEED to fill the amount of story you'd find in a half hour of TV, or take a half hour to read even... I have no real point, except that Walking Dead, again, didn't really deliver an episode so much as it delivered a scene. Yup, one scene. Could have been one scene in a stage production... probably about 7 minutes long, and still there's a cliffhanger. We're loyal, we'll pick it up... actually my wife is sick of the cliffhangers being every issue. I can't say anything, I'm a West Wing fan too. I'm not loosing any love for this book. It's always the first read the week it comes out, but the story seems trapped in this prison. The characters are all becoming self destructive, but hey, it's past the end of the world, who wouldn't be? I guess most of our cliffhangers here for the better part of a year have all been negative, we haven't been hit with hope, yet. The Walking Dead #23 checks out the view atop the bell curve at 3 out of 5.

New Excalibur #1
Excalibur, back in the day... Read this list and close your eyes; Sweet Child O' Mine, George Micheal's Faith, U2's Rattle and Hum album... Every Rose Has It's Thorn by Poison. Hear them? Feel your copy of Super Mario Brothers 2 in your hands? Okay... Short Circuit 2, Twins, Naked Gun, Who Framed Roger Rabbit... Shit, I can smell any given dinner of that summer right now. It's 1988 and everybody but me watches the Cosby Show. The original Excalibur series came out. Hell the first 11 issues were as perfect as any of the best of mutant books ever were. The art was gorgeous, the scripts were cunning, cutthroat and never felt like they were holding anything back. Now it's been reincarnated as a title that feels designed in a staff meeting of a toy company. Okay, Marvel was having a string of doing good comics again, now it feels like they're guarding their properties as to not pee in any coffee cups at Merrill Lynch. This felt like a TV pilot, complete with FCC overlords over the shoulder of the writer. Punches were pulled here, and the lack of sincerity is noted. I'd hope for the best, but I'm gonna be cruel to this uneventful first issue; 2 out of 5.



The Book of Lost Souls #2
I want to like this book more than I do so far. It's very classic Vertigo / Sandman, and at the same time, just not to close. Somehow, this book feels expected, yet I don't know what to expect from it. So much of it seems so ambiguous at this point that your head my imagine more cliches than or in the pages. The names are top notch, Maybe I was just to excited to see J. Michael Straczynski and Colleen Doran on the same pages. Am I disappointed? No. OK, yes, I am. I wanted greatness, and It's only above average... Maybe I'm an old curmudgeon today... This is an embittered 3 out of 5. Then again, maybe not... To I weigh on the side of give non-spandex a chance, or call it for being... trite. Lets move on...







Star Wars : Empire # 37
This arc is a joy. I have little different to say than I did for issue 36.

Okay, actually, I do have a bit difference in opinion. I'm mildly irked by Luke being in this book. I'm not saying I don't care about Luke, but the fact is, I don't, at least in this story. This was supposed to be closure to one or Empire's best arc's, with the main character being Lt. Sunber. I thought Empire was supposed to focus on the other side of the lines, and humanize the Empire... which it does do, far more than prior series, but does Sunber have to cross paths with Luke Skywalker. There are neat things about Luke being in the book, one, he's a shit rebel with one high mark on his resume! That's GREAT. I like seeing Luke taking orders and not being special this early in his career, especially out of the cockpit. Hell, by Jedi Han out ranks Jedi flyboy, and you get the feeling that Luke was kinda... in the closet about being a Jedi. Hell, if Star Wars were a different, more introspective narrative we'd have probably seen tertiary Alliance characters making comments about letting him "play" Jedi since there could obviously be no more new ones, unless some survived... not that the head of the council or a general could survive, nurture and train a single uber Jedi... See, this character is too special sometimes, and that's how he used to always be treated in comics... I love seeing him have to earn a place at the table outside a fighter cockpit. It just keeps the universe small that Sunber's going to run into him... I talking everybody knows Worf, Star Trek small! So, this is... a tough call, but honestly... can we give bonus points for art... okay. 4 out of 5.

Lets get on to the real hit of the week.

Star Wars: Republic #79
If you SAW Episode 3... If you want a bar by which to judge what the TV series could and SHOULD be... and want to see the most beautiful art to ever grace Star Wars, BUY THIS BOOK NOW!!!! This is AMAZING. Just crack it open, pop in the Episode 3 Soundtrack and start at track 4. I said the other day, I'm not getting my hopes to high on the Star Wars TV Series, I want it to be amazing, but I don't want to be disappointed due to expectations... I could easily, EASILY be as good as Deep Space Nine's Dominion war seasons. I don't expect it to be as good as Galactica, though the feel must be similar, the worlds of the republic have been torn apart by war and lost their culture and we know it's decades before the Alliance scores a win. Could it be at a Galactica level or better? YES! Republic #79 should have been the pilot episode! But, it's too beautiful to miss... Look!

... Do I need to say it? Ya, cause it FEELS good....

This is a 5 out of 5!!!!!!

See ya next Wednesday.

Art Race 02!!!!

Well, Aeghty Aeght won that first round, but we enjoyed the hell out of it, so it already has a sequel! Art Race II... To the Dyslexic readers No, this is not a scoop about Rat Race II, but
Breckin Meyer will be in Garfield 2... Anyway, the topic for this one is a killing, and not of Breckin Meyer, but LEIA KILLING JABBA. Yea, can ya tell it was my turn to pick? Rules: Line Art, Full color, Full Background and no photo-alterations.

Oh, and be sure to scroll down and check out some of the comics reviews this week. If you have an ember of creativity left in that pile of ash that in a time before your parents made you start paying for things yourself or you had any type of job with a boss you called a soul... pick up this week's Kabuki, and feel the need to fan those flames to life.

COMICS WEDNESDAY! READ KABUKI AND LIVE HAPPY!

Finally some more Kabuki! Does Spidey's the Other get the axe from my pull list and I give Wraithborn some much needed attention this week.

KABUKI #5
To be a single leaf, Kubuki is a gust of wind. Not restrained by being a panel to panel picture play of literally illustrated drama, here consciousness stream with commentary amid a chorus of character introspection and unbound visuals. I'm explaining in the simplest of possible terms that David Mack is taking us all back to school, and showing us all what the format, the art form of comics truly holds in it's potential. If you have never even heard of this title, or character, have never touched or seen a prior issue, but have sat down at any point with a sketchbook, a writing pad, or even some play dough or Lego's with a quantum length of creativity in your soul, you should read this issue of this title, and consider sleeping with it under your pillow. Read it in church. Share it on a plane. Discuss it with your therapist. The art form has struggled for almost twenty years to pass the dramatic zenith of Watchmen. Here the forms most primal molds are broken to be so much more, much as the narrative describes the state of our protagonist. Kubuki could be seen as a thinly veiled clarion call to the comics industry to evolve or die, in the spirit of synchronicity, one of the many subjects of this most recent issue, I'd consider transitioning to the Spider-Man arc "Evolve or Die". For all that could and should be said about Kabuki, you should privilege yourself with such a motivational devotional to the glory of creativity in all its forms. KABUKI #5 sets the bar for what a 5 out of 5 is.


THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #525
This arc started out DAMN strong and in fine form, but every issue has been getting weaker and weaker. It doesn't seem to be Peter David's fault, either, actually, I don't like reviews that are all about blame, unless some fuckhead kills a a movie for instance, like Brett Ratner most likely will with X3, and Micheal Bay may be destined to do.... but maybe not, with Transformers. This Spidey book... okay, it's better than Transformers, but just so mediocre. It's not pretty, or anything close. The art is almost loveless. I admire guys who can churn out sketch after sketch of clean pro-slick comic art, I really do. I can't. I have to labor over every piece. I can't phone it in. Of course, if you read this plot, you'd phone it in too. This poor art team had to live with this for 22 pages... 22 pages of "Peter's condition is terminal, he's dying of" (that was the first issue, strong opening remember) "Tune in next week to find out to..." That was last week... "MAYBE WE'LL SAY IT NEXT TIME!!!" Fuck this arc. 22 pages of to be continued. Asinine. Almost stupid. I'll buy it next week like a sucker... unless it's a big week. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #525 Gets walked up to the gallows (but is still alive) with a phoned in 3 out of 5



WRAITHBORN #2
As pretty as the plot is typical, so much so the former forgives the latter and your eyes go home happy. Your brain is still fried from reading Kabuki. Here's what a comic looks like when a penciller loves drawing anything! Slurpee cups, mitey monstrosities, school girls, Bluish demonic chicks that glow... unhinged and almost gory violence. Plot? Screw it, it's serviceable. Brunette Buffy gets powers to kill wraiths or something like that... No, it's not original, but it goes great with a soft drink! WRAITHBORN #2 Gets a GRADE A guilty pleasuring Quadruple Cheeseburger without the bypass, 4 out of 5!!!!!

Art Race 01 : Willa & Nayda

Well, I'm crossing the finishing line 5 hours after Aeghty Aeght posted, I present mine... (and I didn't modify a photo for the background... that wasn't against the rules... but might be in the future...)

First P3 / Aeghty Aeght art race.

Aeghty Aeght accepted the challenge and has selected the first subject.

The first subject is Willa and Nayda the Warrior Maidens from Thundercats. Both in one picture full color with background.

The posting of which = crossing the finish line, this should be fun.

Boooooooooooooredddddddddd

I'm BOOOOooooooooRrrred! Need to shake things up..... I have this much (pictured here actual size) ambition to fold my laundry... Oh, I'm sorry, couldn't see it could you, it was much smaller than any single pixel on your monitor.

Oh, Nap, I finally now know why an old friend and this guy I worked with back in 97 couldn't SHUT UP about DS9. I just got to the season 5 ender (Call to Arms.) That was almost as good of a finale as Galactica's. Of GALACTICA WARNING. DO NOT READ ANYTHING ON SC-FI.com. Nap, Avoid all Galactica articles on Sci-fi wire... they contain many SPOILERS without warnings.

Anyway... while I'm doing Shout-outs... I'm having Aeghty Aeght envy. He's been posting loads of colored versions of his old sketches and now that new Cheetara pic... ya...

So... Aeghty Aeght I challenge you to a race (or a series of races)... No, cheating on quality, and stick figures don't count. Not a pissing contest of "Whose is better?" But a race. Who post sooner. You draw faster than I do. I can run rings around you in photoshop. You complete and post more pieces than I do. You have the advantage, do you accept the challenge?

It's the END OF THE Week...

One of these days, I'm gonna get myself a sign that say the END IS NEAR, and walk around like that for a whole Thursday with it. Then, on Friday, I'm gonna Have my sign say the END OF THE WEEK IS UPON US... We've all heard of "End of the world nonsense" So, End of the week nonsense might make a good feature.... and I can't think of a better way to start of such a thing...

http://www.google-kai.com/

It's not a joke either. Have a good weekend.

COMICS WEDNESDAY! The stores are still open so go buy some of these!

At least consider some 3/5's, promise to pick up the 4/5's and if you don't get something that's a 5/5... you might not like yourself very much.

Big week though, so lets get started, especially since TRANSFORMERS debuted this week!!!!!

I post in the order I read 'em... and the best way to start things off is;

THE WALKING DEAD # 22
If you're reading this book, this one mostly a talky issue and I won't say much more. To those who aren't already involved in this series, this is not a jump aboard issue. The series is readily available in collected editions and is well worth it. It's just reliably good, and that says a lot for a book that is essentially a daytime soap inspired by George Romero.
Though it spoils us with such consistent quality It can bump it's head held high on the bar it put so high, and walks right into a 3 out of 5.













ROBOTECH: PRELUDE TO THE SHADOW CHRONICLES #2
From one soap to another. Well, the suds are kinda missing. It's not like a beer without the head, it's just like there's no soap in the water, head wouldn't be of an issue since all the women are just strangely absent from the story. Actually, there's an absence of characters in general in this new Robotech. The only character we've gotten familiar with at all is the seditious villain and, really we don't know him very well. The hubbity jubbity of the new shadow technology is more fleshed out than anything. This is a gorgeous book, it looks like Dreamwave's books used to, like stills from a good looking anime that never got to see the light of day. It's hard to really evaluate the story here, this comic isn't a meal, it's an appetizer to a DVD release. Appetizer or not though, there was an awkward scene change that made this whole issue very confusing. One caption mentioning the fact that the scene was on a different ship that was around a different planet changes everything. Hell, when you skip a YEAR between issues, how much might you skip during the issue? Every other time they changed locations in in this nice large font, so if you don't do that... I mean, I feel like an idiot for being confused through a chunk of the book. These characters mostly wear the same uniforms.

ROBOTECH: PRELUDE TO THE SHADOW CHRONICLES #2 Gets an uneasy, and almost generous 3 out of 5... But be warned Robotech, being pretty and an old love can't save you all the time.

MARVEL KNIGHTS: SPIDER-MAN #19
Continued from last week, the "The Other: Evolve or Die" storyline jumps to a title I've never picked up, and in this week of Transformers who do I find but Pat Lee doing pencilling chores on Spiderman, and a big ass Honda ad where the story would normally start. They're draggin out the tension of some shocker in this plot line, so 2 issues in and we're at a tenuous commitment to completion already, well on the Spider-Man line. The B plot with Mary Jane is a star turn that makes you think horrible things like; "Why doesn't she have her own book?". Well, if she did, it'd get old and it'd probably suck most of the time anyway.

MARVEL KNIGHTS: SPIDER-MAN #19
idles at 3 out of 5.


This week needs help. At least nothing sucks yet.





ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #24
This was one of the two best books of the week. Greg Land just makes so much look so pretty. Sue's mom may be a little too pretty... for being 20 some years after having kids, and is showing a Hell of a lot of cleavage. But, you read into it and she's enough of a bitch to get away with looking like that. Aside from her and a massive amount of pretty, this book has a nice pulp sci-fi feel... That's what I really get into with this book, but going to the ruins of Atlantis just has you back watching old serials or reading comics from a flea market, or books that smell like BOOKS. Land's art is almost too much for this story, it hits in an odd way, but at the same time, Land relies on reference so much that the visuals aren't fantastic enough. They need to be plucked more from the mind, but, they're still pretty.

ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #24 is a
comfy 4 out of 5





TRANSFORMERS #0
Simon Furman on TRANSFORMERS!!!! Lets give him a great welcome and a fresh start. No hard feelings about anything, he's a legend in the Transformers community, and I'll make no further comment. I want a good Bot-book so bad, I'm willing to give even this a chance, cause it's better than nothing. So there's a guy, with wild hair, a GREEN shirt, and a van, looking to solve a MYSTERY. A MACHINE MYSTERY. You're a legend in the Transformers community? You dedicate the 0 issue of the new start to the franchise in comics to a Shaggy Doo reference? Without even a dog? Maybe you thought no one would pick this up? And why is Thundercracker an F-22? Yes, the Raptor is the replacement for the Eagle, but the F-15 is still in service... so leave them ALONE!!!!! And how the hell can Shaggy see in the cockpit of one flying by... in the desert? I won't even get to the Terminator speak (or plagiarism) that the autobots do. Thanks for nothing. EJ Su drew a better book than you wrote Simon. I can't even begin to compare this to what Dreamwave left behind.



TRANSFORMERS #0 's Art and name
get it 2 out of 5. The $.99 price helped. IDW, you've screwed up. Fix this mess fast.

STAR WARS: REPUBLIC #78
This is why I saved Republic till last. I always save Star Wars until last, just to wash any bad taste out of my mouth. This week, it was needed, and worked. And I was loving this until Casey Jones from Ninja turtles showed up... Okay a bounty hunter who looked like him. I thought this was a solid 4, but I'm stuck on Casey Jones.

STAR WARS: REPUBLIC #78 hit's 3 out of 5.








At least when Republic goes, Dark Horse is going to make their passing easy, with 2 series, named after my two favorite Star Wars Video Games. Star Wars REBELLION will have 5 issues a year. Then, there's well, I leave you with this....

Commentary on Morality and Science in the Media

I'm gonna soapbox. I said I wouldn't, but this falls under the category of media criticism, so, I'll allow myself to do it. Just as I'm sick and tired of "Controversy" being newsworthy, and Elizabeth Vargas or Fox News or MSNBC reporting on every time anyone is pissed off about anything they have video that roughly goes with the subject, they run with it. It warps public perception, and generally makes this a bitter and pissed off nation of folks. Americans were much better people before they had to wait in 2 hours of rush hour traffic every night just to go to bed after hearing on the news that everything in their house will kill them and everyone outside their home is going to destroy their way of life.

There can't be a story about Science in the media anymore without this same controversy, every discovery has a detractor and... well... fuck it all. Everyone who has ever questioned the morality of ANY scientific discovery needs to abandon anything made after the invention of the slightly sharper rock. The history of discovery shows just how bad we are at knowing where knowledge will lead. You tomorrow could make some observation about birds outside your back yard, or numbers on a calculator that some dude 20 years from now will do some thesis about, 30 years later it leads to some minor breakthrough and then a technological revolution in 2143, and all of a sudden two inventions and a leap later humanity wipes itself out. How dare you look out your window. How dare someone came up with math.

You can't apply some abstract morality to any science. On the morality side, well, every one has a different yardstick to measure by. On the science side, you don't know how it's going to go until you've done it. Once done, it doesn't get undone. In medicine, some things are going to live and some are going to die. You don't tell your vegan friend how many rabbits got plowed for his salad. You want to keep your friend, or you tell her, just to drive her nuts...

Morality and ethics are, unfortunately illusions. Most of the "bad" people you've ever heard of, didn't see themself that way, and many felt guided by some moral compass.

Most people have some result they would love to be able to gain from technology, science, or medicine, and they all have an idea of what obtaining it would be worth to them. It's probably aligned with their morality too.

The media though, seems to be loosing it's moral compass more and more every day, and mor and more are telling us what are morality should be.

We're smart enough to figure out if we think somethings a good idea or not.

X-Men 3 Teaser...

If you go to the movie's official site, and skip the flash into, YOU MISS the teaser. But, since we've all been worried, it looks like the people who made that Fifth Element teaser back in the day found work again. I love logo teasers... they make new crayons look like sharp objects. So, I'd link to the site, but why? I'd say go, but you'd waste your time. Is this a pointless blog entry... I'd say it fits Monday nicely.

I will say this... we introduced Keypunch Monkey to Magic: The Gathering... watch his blog evolve in a Magic blog... :)

The Blond Bond Sell.

I know this much about Daniel Craig, the BBC showed him bellicosely arriving to the press conference on a patrol boat. Oh, and he's blond.

Wow. I was so interested in this entry, I honestly got up and forgot I was even writing it for a couple of hours. Which cuts straight to the point I was going to make. I'm reading fuss and praise hopes dreams and nightmares, piss and vinegar all over the net getting all... well, whatever your disposition on the man is, about this guy and the future of the Bond series. But... wait I can't say it...

Okay, let me preface this carefully... I do love Bond, I have since I was... damn, I can't remember not loving Bond. I can remember diapers, and not being able to walk. I can remember lying in my baby crib, not as clearly as some things but I do remember it, and I'll say, that at that age I MIGHT not have LOVED James Bond, but I DOUBT IT.

But, as far as Daniel Craig and the "future of the franchise". I don't care. I implore fellow fans to chill out, and not care... we'll all go see Casino Royale. But, c'mon, it's only a movie and I can PROVE IT.

Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig

Can you see a pattern? Here Look again:

Sean Connery

George Lazenby

Roger Moore

Timothy Dalton

Pierce Brosnan

Daniel Craig

Relevance of the lead leap frogs through this series. Okay, we have a long relationship with a bond, and then we have a rebound*.

Daniel Craig is almost destined to be a "James Bond" Question on Jeopardy in a few years. History says he won't have the role for long.. frankly I hope he's only there for one movie, and I hope they do it right. Start by quitting on thing; quit upping the ante on action. Bigger isn't better. Better is. Bond needs to become a suspense and intrigue franchise, for at least ONE movie... Casino Royale should be that movie. Next, an "R" rating. Don't shoot for it, but don't avoid it. Feel free to get the story out... actually that's another point...

You should, SHOULD, have shot the movie for 40 million before EVER announcing who the new bond was, with a title like Crimes of Blood, never had any attention drawn to it and let the main actors, and a FEW creative people have a clear vision for it. You spend so much, you want to gaurd every drop of your investment with every last ounce of life and drain exactly that out of the picture. Yes, Die Another Day worked, and worked well, but on the whole they feel like too many meetings go into the mix.

Don't mess with the format. Okay, we know you're not that dumb.

Oh, one other thing, no more gadgets. An Omega Seamaster, an Astin Martin and a Walther PPK are all the man needs. I loved most of the gadgets, but now by they get to the screen after the writers think of them, they're on the market or in the arsenals of the worlds governments. Bond doesn't need to be a walking Sharper Image catalog right now. Save it for when we do get Ewan or Hugh and they're around for 6 or so pictures. Besides, we never get toys of them, actually...

Dear James Bond,
Our generation was raised on movies birthing toys, and you, you absent father of a celluloid male role model, your toys were hardly ever there, and what quality was there when they did come around? I hate you for it, I always have. Stay away from mom... signed, your toy loving son of a generation of movie goers.

We can be more forgiving than that... out side of McFarlane Toys, MOST female action figures are anything but hot, and what's Bond without the girls?


*Diamonds are Forever DOESN'T COUNT as Connery's last Bond film. He broke it off after You Only Live Twice. Lazenby is then our rebound... Diamond's is the equivalent of screwing your ex after the breakup, you're not re-establishing the relationship, you're enjoying sex with no strings attached. We also did this AGAIN with Never Say Never... you never get over that first love.

COMICS WEDNESDAY! READ SOME AND LIVE HAPPY!

This week I picked up:
At the recommendation of Steve down at Comics Headquarters, I grabbed FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #1. My first reaction (knee-jerk to the title) was aww fuck, kid friendly. I hate "Kid friendly" Kid friendly usually means weak, watered down, punches pulled a plenty!
Brief tangent; MOST writers are not wanting to tell stories that are kid harming. I.e. This month Spidey takes on cocaine nose first while discovering his first taste of anonymous cock, getting better money working glory holes than selling Spidey pics. He'll need it now to support his coke habit true believer. Okay, there probably some assholes who want to write that story, and a few more who want to read it. So, never mind, back to the review, and NO that is NOT the plot of this issue or ANY Spidey story ever done by MARVEL... Ok.
It seems like so many fans love Mike Wieringo... I can see why, when the costumes are off and you see characters, I'm sorry my non-spandex loving asses definition of characters... people with faces and emotions, he's damn phat. The panel the red and blue comes on, it looks like the art on those Spider-man stickers my mom bought me at Ben Franklin back when they sold candy cigarettes and stores being open on Sunday was a new thing. Actually, I remember one of those stickers had the same art (that Marvel was always recycling) of a photocopy drawing that I got autographed by "Spider-Man" at an event at Toy Chest, when he was on "The Electric Company". For those who can't remember Ronald Regan, I won't even try to explain. The rest of you get that I think it looks.... RETRO. I wont say it's bad, Hell, it's redeemed by just the acting chops his pics pull off (on like page 8 for example) when a woman is begging for her life. Oh, now you're interested, just a bit. I hadn't even touched on that Peter David's the writer here. Or that this is a crossover arc with Peter David doing 1/3, Reginald Hudlin doing the second act, and J. Michael Straczynski doing the third act... then a fourth act with each of them trading off a little quicker.
Is this like WOW... eh, but I wish all comics were reliably this good. Then you could pick up anything on the shelf and feel this satisfied... well, I read Empire after this... so I'm trying to digress to how I felt after reading Spidey. If you haven't read the wall crawler in a bit, this may be worth a look see.

FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #1 gets a 4 out of 5.

STAR WARS: EMPIRE #36. This book had been a lifeless as this lame duck series is about to be. The last arc was a test of endurance, and at times almost no fun. That arc is over. Where's a smiling emoticon when I need one... those little bastards, so unreliable. Spidey was so good this week that I was beginning to doubt my save Star Wars for last policy. Never doubt! First off... Davide Fabbri is going to be the penciller on the whole arc. He last did an issue of Empire 20 issues ago, the art was... "Hmm, Nice." Now, it's a slow growing pants bulge that will slow you down in reading the book. You'll almost be like those commercials where Bob has wood and a happy missus, for one BIG aspect of this art, you can FEEL the locations. His art isn't photo real, but you get such a good essence of the scene and setting that you feel like you could walk around there.

Go, read the preview.

Those aren't the worst pages in the book, but there are like 17 better pages. Basically, it all get better from there!
Well, it was good to have a good comic week, small for me, but I'll try to make this Wednesday page a habit.

STAR WARS: EMPIRE #36. Gets a hardy and almost unfairly LOW 4 out of 5. seriously, it's more of a 4.85, really, I mean come on 5 out of 5 would be like Sandman: A Season of Mists, Watchmen, Bone, Walking Dead has never been a 5.. wait till next week, I'll probably pick up some crap on accident or on purpose...

Oh, and I rented HHGTTG on DVD, just to see if Redbox at Mickey Dee's included the special features disc... THEY DON'T. So, I'll watch the commentary track hoping for an apology and probably re-crucify the movie tomorrow.

Movie: Dungeons & Dragons (2): Wrath of the Dragon God

The following was overheard at Normal People HQ;
"Men, it's a sequel to Dungeons and Dragons. The first one sucked, but didn't suck hard enough to cause those gaming geeks to just kill themselves and get out of our way. Then that Lord of the Rings crap made them look so normal that Best Buy brags that they employ them, and Nicholas Cage even named his kid after a comic book character. If we DON'T stop this at once, people who read, and have imaginations might be... everywhere, and I can't imagine that! It's time to once again use our ultimate weapon; Dungeons and Dragons, that vile role-playing game where people tell stories, solve problems, use their imaginations and have HARMLESS FUN... These were the kids in school who couldn't see the delight in harmless vandalism like mailbox baseball, and tee-peeing a neighbors yard. Most of them didn't even revel in underage drinking and drugs. What's that make them? Wussie momma's boys! <> Now, with this movie we'll have them cry until their daddies beat them in to being MEN!

First, get me some no-name actors, cause if I don't know their name, they must be no damned good!

We've got nobody you've ever heard of sir!

Excellent, next skimp on the effects! Let these nerds use their imaginations that they're so proud of!

Consider them skimped on sir.

This needs to be cheap, very cheap.

The whole movie will cost about what Rob Schneider got for Deuce Bigalow...2!

Yes... PERFECT! That will doom it to ... no, Finally... The writing needs to be abdominal get people who have worked in softcore porn!

One of the writers was the AD on Emmanuelle in Space sir, both have little to no experience.

Yes! The geeks doom is at hand!!!! Muwhahahahaha!!!!!!!"

End tape.

Seen it. Sorry asswipe, but I'm still here, and... I can't wait to get the DVD. I hated the first D&D flick. It was an eyesore. This, is no LOTR. Duh. It's too short to be as deep as Record of the Lodoss War, but I really, really dug this movie. The FX did at times look cheap, BUT there's a balance between quantity and quality here, and we come out ahead. They're never distractingly bad, like the first movie, they are not $100,000,000 perfection either. So what? The movie pulls you into the feel of gaming.

Let me say again, it feels like a D&D game, a good one. The actors are a bunch of competent professionals who you've never heard of, and won't care that you haven't. The biggest shock is the writing. No great dialogue, it's all very functional, but the damnedest thing happened with this movie. It was absent the day they taught formula and irritating, though seemingly necessary, cliche's!

After D&D, I was hopeful that maybe a long time from now and good movie could be made of it. Well, the first GOOD D&D movie is here, if you like the first one, pull up a seat and love this one. It you hated the first, but wanted a live action Lodoss... it's here on DVD November 8th!

This sold me a DVD! And I might even consider it for my top of the year list, even though it was on TV. (No, it's not a great movie, but it's FUN, like ... Serenity.)

Headline: Some X Criticize Y because of Z

I'm sick, SICK of that headline!!! How is that news? How is someone being offended newsworthy? And why is my being offended never newsworthy? Everything done in this country is going to offend someone. Today a bunch of people who are better than you are gathering and making a big deal about something some people have always done, that honestly usually doesn't hurt others, and it's something they happen not to enjoy anyway... so what? A couple weeks ago Adam Carolla said he was offended by people eating bugs on Fear Factor. No news outlet reported his outrage! The system doesn't work! Aren't you supposed to report all outrage you lunatic idiots of the media? You ball-less sacks of human waste, not all journalists, just ones like Elizabeth Vargas on ABC... actually ABC WNT is becoming the sickest display of pansy pandering I've ever seen.

In related news:
ALL GHOST STORIES, EVER ARE BULLSHIT.
If there were such a thing as Ghosts Peter Jennings would haunt that broadcast that they've destroyed in the past few months.

The following contains fowl language, so stop reading if you're a childish moron.

Idiots offended by the word fuck, and ya, if you're offended by THAT word, you are a childish idiot, it's almost lost all meaning anyway. Grow up. Anyway, idiots offended by that word don't let their children hear it... (BTW, They've heard it, and don't care!!!! You ass caught, anal irritating, sesame seed!)

I'm offended by operations being shown on TV, should I not let my child watch such things... she loves it, goes with that "want to be a doctor" thing that occasionally is on her mind.

I couldn't be a doctor... it's just disgusting. If I were your doctor, you'd "meet" your stupid teddy bear you pieces of mental flotsam. I'm offended by how disgusting the human body is. Be glad so many aren't even phased by this. They're more grown up about it. I'm childish, it's GROSS to me. Your doctor sees this as childish, and saves our sorry asses that are to stupid to live in a healthy manner.

Trailer: Over the Hedge

I haven't seen Madagascar, and the more previews I saw, the less I cared. BUT, I appreciate suburb humor... these lil fuzzies show some promise.

Over the Hedge

Movie: Serenity

Did you like Star Wars? I'm not asking if you liked Star Wars Episode IV : A New Hope, I'm talking about that movie, 28 years ago that was called Star Wars, and described as a space western. Star Trek started out as a space western too... both series became, well, not westerns. Star Wars became myth, Star Trek became a vision, they became "more important" than popcorn, fluff, matinee style entertainment. I love them dearly, but fuck even Galactica left behind the space cowboy fluff to be the "best drama on television"! It's great for sci-fi to be ambitious, and it should, especially when the material is good enough, but would anyone dare be ambitious enough to make a QUALITY piece of fluff sci-fi? Well Joss Whedon was!

Serenity is more like Cowboy Bebop than Star Wars or Star Trek. The Earth is unusable, and human kind has colonized another solar system, in Bebop it was just the rest of our solar system. It has a ship as it's base of operations, Cowboy Bebop has the "Bebop", and Serenity has the "Serenity" a Firefly model ship... Both series sport an eclectic cast of characters, but most series do, and they're morally good groups who are on the wrong side of the law, slightly.

Serenity is the type of movie I've wanted to see since the Mos Eisley segment of Star Wars, and that want has grown with every viewing of the original Star Wars. To put is simply, if you were unsatisfied with the Star Wars prequels for the lack of sarcasm and wit and almost all of the bitches about the prequels... Serenity is EXACTLY the movie you wanted to see. I must be an odd form of geek, I loved both. Lucas and Whedon have such opposite strengths and weaknesses, your fanboy heart may wish they could work together. One of the best movies of the year, and I won't redo my top five list for awhile so Serenity can digest some.

Movie: Lord of War

What Fight Club was to 1999, Lord of War is to 2005. It's a year of Star Wars ruling the box office, Keanu Reeves donning a black trenchcoat as a reality shifting hero, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton are teamed together. We're missing an M. Night Shyamalan "shocker", but I'd like to think the world is over him.

Fight Club was a truth we didn't wan to hear, so is Lord of War. The season finale of Galactica showed humans doing what they're always more willing to do than almost anything else, destroy each other. The real world scenarios in LoW are about just that, and how to pick up a supermodel and get her to be your baby maker, how many passports you may need, and how long an airplane can sit in the middle of Africa. There are so many little interesting things, and I loved it.

That said... it was a little long in the pacing, since the end seems so inevitable, the movie is a slim two hours, but you'll become so sure of how it ends, it'll seem like it drags on. Well, it did to me at least.

The big difference between this and Fight Club, Fight Club went straight to the top of my top five list for the year when I saw it. As the year stands;

1) Howl's Moving Castle.
2) Star Wars
3) Batman
4) tie: Sin City and Constantine
Honorable mention: Kingdom of Heaven

Lord of War would place 7th.

Worst: (Honestly) Monster in Law. But my dark heart will go back to saying it's Hitchhikers Guide. I can't touch the DVD, I even hate the case.

PEGASUS!!!!!!

I.... JUST.... WATCHED.... It......... Season 3 not coming soon enough...

This show, was supposed to suck the air out of the room and go down in flames with a shameless chorus of "If it ain't broke..."

I read once that Science Fiction was inherently optimistic. There have been exceptions, the cliche is Blade Runner... "It's dark." But this show is brutal, it has an almost antihumanistic vibe. You're slowly seeing not only the virtues of the survivors point of view, but the virtues of the cylons rationale for their elimination. It's just beautiful to watch unfold. I can't fracking wait for them to get to Earth... Oh so MUCH has to happen yet!!!

SPOILERish Predictions.
These are just a few thoughts I have on where the series may be headed;
1) The Cylons are obviously following the to Earth, to finish the whole race off.
2) Baltar is some form of Cylon or their creator, probably a unique cylon in the form of their creator.
3) Have the Cylons been around since the days of the Gods on Cobol, and simply re-introduce themselves as an invention of man? (Man creates Cylon, Cylons involved with war with gods, man flees to the 13 colonies, cylons infiltrate colonies and "invent" cylons then pick a fight over some shit that went down with the Gods...) Watch the Gods be the older and more evolved cylons and the new ones are just killing humanity to try to stir shit up...
4)Watch Earth be like in the ice age...

End that spoilerish nonsense.

Damn... Well, the season finale was awesome, I can't get enough of the ending from the phone call from Tigh to that silent exterior shot... it gave me goose bumps.

THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN POSTED EARLIER, BUT BLOGGER WAS HAVING A SERVER PROBLEM, 2nd time in a week!!!!

TV: "Invasion"

The two big new prime-time sci-fi shows this fall are Surface and Invasion. Both seem to be water themed alien invasions involving a number of loosely connected characters. Okay, to be fair, in Invasion, the characters are essentially a modern family a divorced and couple remarried to other people and you'll need a chart to keep straight which kids belong to whom since nobody resembles anyone else.
In Surface, characters are connected like this; remember my mention in my Surface rant about a show named Probe that was on in the '80's? It starred Parker Stevenson, Kirstie Alley's ex husband (Okay, I shit you not, Look who's talking JUST came on in the other room AS I'M typing this... anyway), well Parker was one of the Hardy Boys in the 70's TV series. The other Hardy boy, created, produced and wrote Invasion.
If I have to put these shows head to head though, they're so similar and their strengths and weaknesses are exact opposites. Invasion is a better show by far for one big reason; good actors playing GOOD characters. I'd rather see these actors and this type of character work on Surface... Invasion's plot my bring some good geeks out there to recall the War of the Worlds TV series, or any other Body Snatchers rip. Not bad though for a child of a Partridge Family member.
Actually my only real GRIPE isn't about the show, it's the warning label they put on it for the pussies in this country. They had a warning about the fact that the show dealt with the aftermath of a Hurricane, and it may be traumatic to some viewers because of recent events. Okay, I don't mean to be Mr. Insensitive, but FUCK THAT.
More people are screwed up [during their childhood] by divorce than hurricanes, and they didn't include that in their warning. I've never seen a warning in front of ER, but everyone who has ever had to go to an emergency room probably wasn't really happy about it. It was probably even traumatic. TV... hell, STORIES are supposed to deal with things like this. We've all had parts of our life screwed up by nature, disease, death, and relationships with other human beings. They don't need warning labels, they just need to be. there were probably a number of cave paintings of mastodon hunts where the guy scribbling it on the cave wall had seen some messed up shit, and needed to work it through his head, or maybe help a friend work it through his head. It's as old as art... After 32,000 years of human expression, I swear if you wimp out NOW, we'll pee in your Diet Pepsi!

A Friend Launches his website!!!

I've known this man since the Reagan administration. He just turned 30, but I didn't say happy birthday since I honestly don't know how cool he is with being 30. I'm four days away myself and wanting to punch myself in the head and cry myself stupid. Here he is at Jellyrolls, on stage, singing something.

He just launched his own official site promoting his new album.

Here's a review of a previous album. This is why I tell him I don't miss him. He's off making the rest of us south county schmucks feel inferior, and justly so. Well, I love ya man, and love watching you live your dream. Oh, happy birthday. I'm going to go cry now.

TV: Rome and Surface

Well, the new fall season is almost, kinda under way in the sense that anything worth watching, doesn't go by the traditional schedule anyway. Galactica and the rest of the Friday line-up of beauty that is Sci-Fi Channel is wrapping up their season. 4400 already had their season finale. Galactica is next week. [Oh, Nap, when you say you're a Trekkie, and I say Michelle Forbes, you're supposed to know I mean "the lady who played Ensign Ro." I know we all can't know the name of EVERY cast member, but YOU'RE the deacon of DS9!]
Anyway. I tried my first NEW show of the NEW season... Surface. Formerly known as Fathom, until James Cameron pointed out to NBC that it ripped it's name off from a comic book, that was so along the line of things he likes, that he bought the movie rights to it and they better... well the show is called Surface. Surface... Fathom... NEITHER Title would make sense for this show. Water would have been more direct. The PERFECT TITLE: (any letter but X) Files of the Lost Alien Jaws from the Abyss of the Millennium! There are about a dozen other ones you could plug in there too. This isn't a complaint about the show...

Alright it is. This thing, well, based on it's first episode, doesn't feel like a LONG series. Am I going to be wishing it were a movie? A mini series? On Sci-Fi? (I heard a couple Yes' to the last two... good thinking guys!)

I usually don't talk about TV shows right away. They need some time to settle in... This one, I fear, needs to kick ass before it dies and is quickly forgotten. Sci-Fi on networks has a BAD history littered with so many short lived series that were never given any chance at all. Some GREAT: (Firefly!!!!!!!!! Probe... okay I'm the ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS THE DAMN SHOW, but it kicked ass!) Some were... Manimal, Phoenix though... all the way down to the WORST EVER: Galactica 1980. (No matter HOW GOOD the new show gets... It will never help this poor step-sibling) and short lived period: Crusade, Space Above and Beyond, Earth 2, etc.

I like this idea, and this style of story. A sweeping world change from multiple points of view. The government, the plucky scientists who are out of the loop, the average joes. But I hate these loveless characters. I just am immediately repulsed by this cast and the characters they have. Many of them are less than one dimensional. The picture of suburban life being that EVERYBODY has a HUGE house and a green card housekeeper is tired. Oh... these characters suck, mostly from the vacuum of space they fail to fill. There's also too many. This has more characters than West Wing, 4400, or Galactica. And we're only in the first episode. A trimmer, leaner plot might have given more life and direction to this thing out of the gate. I hope it lives, I fear it will be soon forgotten, and worse, I won't miss it.

One more show to deal with, should have a couple of weeks ago... Rome. Lost just won an emmy for best drama... since Galactica gets no recognition for how damn good it is (though it just had it's worst episode of the season, not BAD, but it's been a mutherfucking GREAT season!) Here's a show that will probably get all the conventional recognition, and kicks total ass! Gladiator the series. I kid, but it's really good. It has great characters, and epic backdrop and so much sex and violence that, I'm content with each episode. That's what Galactica is missing, nudity and gore. Is Rome worth HBO? If you don't have HBO, definitely hit this when it's on DVD, unless the only togas you can take are repeat viewings of Animal House.

Oh Rome, your FireFox theme blew chunks.

Monday lunchtime.

Here's a nice link to remind us how insignifigant we all are...
Spend lunch looking at purdy pictures on Hubble Heritage

My NEXT post MAY be just waxing on about Galactica...

>>>>--->>>>> -A Gamers' Manifesto

Nap, Keypunch, you two have some reading... Oh my, this is a must read. Especially for Nap, this is like the 95 Theses.

A Gamers' Manifesto

Actually. Spread this link like a virus. Spread the word. Smear it all over the walls of the X-Play forums, and the halls of Gamestop.

Let the word go forth to every literate with a controller.

Friday thought.

I'm gonna brag about my wife here.
This morning, I wanted some doughnuts, driving back from the grocery store with 6 chocolate long johns in a box, I hear this commercial on the radio. Oh, there's my first mistake listening to morning drive-time radio. On this commercial for a local jeweler, it starts out; "My wife has a September birthday... [Hey, so do I! One in twelve chance of that!] ...and a Sapphire is at the top of her list!" What type of vapid, superficial, bitch wants a damn itsy bitsy rock?
I've never understood the appeal of jewelry. There seems to be a quality to a woman who loves jewlry that sickens me. Now, my wife adores her wedding ring, but it has an emotional, and symbolic attachment. And I'm sure she'd appreciate and accept jewlry being given to her, if we had lumps of money causing us discomfort when we tried to sit down, or more appropriately if we had stacks of it causing the house to be unnavigable. Dear, could you pass the salt? No, I can't even see you or the kitchen table for all the cash we're swimming in, why don't we BURN IT?
She'd like to have jewlry, it's right up there with crown molding and basement flooring.
I'm not going to insinuate that women who want jewlry for holidays are stupid and inane. We gave my grandmother jewlry for virtually every holiday. She was one of those irritating people who immediately bought anything she wanted and her eyesight was bad enough that she could say I was a cute child and she wasn't lying. So books were out of the question.
My wife was giving me hints of ideal gifts... in Best Buy. Not even in the appliance section to misogynistic fans of '50's gender roles, but in the laptop accessory aisle. She'd love a dictaphone, or a HUGE Gift card from Borders. She's practically addicted to books. I'm always trying to find interesting novels on the cheap, since $15-20 for a book for me, seems OK, I'll be reading it until the end of time. She should use the receipt as a bookmark and return it the NEXT DAY when she'd done reading it for her next hit of Gutenbergian crack.
At least she wants things that appeal to her intellect or expand her abilities to communicate or create.
She's the type of woman that makes you hate women. The ones who clatch together in gossip circles, concerned with only the number of bragging points they have over the other members of their gossip circle, who will only crack a book if Oprah tells them too, and obsess endlessly over empty things.

DVD: Fever Pitch

It didn't suck. [Sound of footsteps walking away, a door opens and quickly closes interrupted only by the sound of lights being turned off. Silence creeps in, fading to sounds you otherwise never notice, cars driving by at a distance, dogs, teens out at an unreasonable time... eventually you drift off to sleep.]


Why are you still here, covered in your own drool, frumpled and in your underwear? At least you had the sense not to sleep in your clothes. Here's a comb, and a mint, now get dressed.

What? Oh... the DVD thing? I said it didn't suck. Sheesh. It's a romantic comedy, like an action figure, it has all the standard points of articulation. I'm not bitching about it, it just doesn't incite conversation. It does get some kudos for showing baseball fans for the geeks they really are. This is good. It helps define geekdom. I propose a NEW definition! (just add it below the old ones.

geek: (n) Someone who loves something other that can't love them back.

Gee, defining it with love... I just would like to give a big FRAKK OFF to everybody I went to grade school junior high with, you hate filled shit bags of worthless Bodybags for trying to make such a great thing into a dirty word. Fuck. I said Bodybags, now I owe Aeghty Aeght a dime.

Take a moment to look at the awful poster they stuck this movie with. From a distance it looks like a vampire movie, with a dark sky and full moon and some pale face at someones neck. Why is Drew so washed out? Why is Jimmy Fallon both unrecognizable and falling off the poster. Usually in a romance movie when the guy is that far off the center... he DIES. And they opened it on tax day, what does that have to do with baseball?

Catch it on cable, or if nothing else at Blockbuster looks worth a damn, unless you can't stand one or more of the leads, then don't torture yourself. I like Drew and Fallon, so I liked the movie. There. I revise my statement. You'll like it as much as you already like them. If you don't know how much you like them, you're screwed, cause you still won't know.

Hump hump day with this one...

Here's a roadside attraction on the info highway... Aint No Way to Go It's kinda like the Darwin awards. I recommend "A Picture Perfect Drop." I found this cause it's the anniversary of Isadora Duncan's death in 1927. She like loose clothing and big scarves... you can read how she bit it too. BTW, to you first responders of Paris in 1927... If they heard her screams as she was dragged, she didn't die instantly.

DVD: Monster in Law

I feel ill still. Not as bad as the feeling of someone taking an axe and splitting open my chest... that's how it felt to watch this piece of shit.

Hate someone? Anyone? Just want them worse than dead? Find a copy of this in a trashcan and give it to that person. My father recommended this to me. He must hate me more than I thought. He must really hate me.

Shit blood. That's how awful this thing is. I mean it. This isn't a bad movie. This is really painful... it was for me at least. I HATE watching people be picked on and abused in movies. Then the bully has some change of heart and everything is hunky dory... Fuck that. Jane Fonda's character didn't need some moral turnaround... she needed to be tortured to death. An axe murder would have improved this movie....

Ooooooo Best yet, when J-Lo goes in to tell her fiance that she won't marry him... she screams how it's all his mothers fault and puts a pistol in her mouth and paints the ceiling with her brain, driving the son to pour gasoline over his mother and light her... It wouldn't improve the movie that much... It'd be an ending that let you enjoy the fact that the characters suffered as much as you the viewer.

BTW.... The title SUCKS. At no point except the last five SECONDS is Jane Fonda her In-Law!!!! and then, thanks to your cheese ball ending... She's not a monster anymore!

I think HHGTTG just lost the Worst of the Year rank.... gee, that movie fails at everything.

Reconsidering Deep Space Nine

I was raised on Star Trek... Well it felt that way... We watched it every night on KDNL 30 before it became a network affiliate. It probably helped plow the minds fields for Star Wars, Cosmos, and everything they led to interests in. That's a lot to say for 79 episodes until I was in junior high. Next Gen took me from junior high to starting college. By it's final season, I was not catching every episode, just out of so many things going on, girlfriend, finishing school, starting a business. There was more Trek on than ever.

Next Gen was the perfect successor to the original... more epic larger than life adventures of the Enterprise crew, and it was a good crew... especially when the kinks got sorted out and Geordi became the Chief Engineer and Worf was on Security... Tasha was better dead than alive. And Riker needed the beard. After it's second season, it was a shoo-in for my favorite show on the air.

In my senior year of High School, Deep Space Nine debuted. I gave it a chance, I was open to it... and it was... stagnant. Star Trek had been epic adventures... : "Strange new worlds" and they gave us a truck stop by one of the galaxies ass zits where a race, BASED on one of Next Gen best characters, whined about their silly ass religion. It was shit. Sisko was the best character, until he boxed with Q... Quark was the most immediately alienating character. I couldn't get past the fuzz-clad Ferengi with whips saying Huuuuuuu-MaaaaaNNNNzz from when they first appeared. More shit. I liked Odo, he was the guy from the show Benson.

I couldn't get in to it. At some point, I did give Voyager a shot as well... that's another story. But I wasn't a Trekkie anymore. There was more I didn't care about than did. The Scars of the last 10 years of hit and often miss Trek have left their mark. I only own 7 out of 10 of the movies. In school, That's a D. But, DVD ownership doesn't say everything... I buy less DVD's than I used too... I blame the wife. The James Bond series by that standard would be kicked out of school and sent to Juvenile Hall, if not for poor grades then for killing and smoking Cigars in class. But wouldn't Bond get straight A's from banging his teachers and betting his grades over Baccarat games in the teachers lounge? How can I get this entry on track? "Our Man Bashir" was all of that.

Thanks to Spike TV and my DVR, I've been watching DS9 now, and refuse to miss an episode until I see it out... I may even give a fresh viewing to the first two seasons.

Why? I said it was shit.

When Next Generation was still going on... gee. Pick one. and the later seasons of DS9 that you rave about DON'T COUNT! (they weren't directly competing with TNG) After the way TNG went out... little Trek is better than it's closer. A small handful.

Wait... did I say DS9 and TNG were competing? Oh yea! Isn't that the stupidity that killed Trek? Overlapping shows? Divided fan bases?

Well, I'm becoming a fan of DS9. "Flip-flop!!" Yup. I'm enjoying it. There are many reasons;

#1: 4400 and Galactica. I love both of these current show. An IMDB search on DS9 and those shows would show why.

#2: Post Enterprise, I needed some Trek. Trek was never about the "Trek Universe" to me. It was characters and stories. Adventure of the week. After Enterprise, I actually like the Trek universe more. DS9 feels like an RPG sourcebook, immersed into the fine details of one place, it's settled. Settling is what you do when the expedition is over.

#3: I may still feel the same way about the earlier seasons after all.

To wrap this up. I'm glad I had no real interest in DS9. When I did, Trek was alive. Now that it's gone for awhile... It's good to have some that's new to me.

New Fall Season Pre-thoughts...

Sorry, haven't posted in awhile... blame Keypunch. He lent me Sims 2 and that thing is pure pixelated crack. Just building houses... I could go for an expansion complicating the house building to where you put in attics and secret passages, worry about the plumbing and sinkholes and the driveway and even where to put the water heater and air ducts... none of those things are in the game, but I found myself wishing they were. Maybe Keypunch fired this shot off since he thinks EVERYTHING I type here is a complaint... I'm not that bad, am I??

So, I'm gonna complain about sports for a second... Every fall I bitch about Football making 60 Minutes late every Sunday. I hate it. Especially now that West Wing has moved to 7:00PM-C on SUNDAY. So, I EXPECTED a damn football game to push 60 minutes back even tonight... and low and behold... It DIDN'T.... 60 Minutes was 21 minutes late for TENNIS. Tennis?

I've known and heard of plenty of people who live... fucking LIVE for FOOTBALL. The entire Video Game industry has a holiday called "Madden" (according to Nap, but I believe him.) Even I had some fair-weather fan love and obsession the first time the Rams went to the Superbowl... What I'm saying is, I know I'm a freak to have a penis and not love this damn tradition, but I do appreciate that many others freak out over it... enough for it to bully around the whole TV timetable. Did I miss tennis getting this kind of love?

I'll try to be more attentive to these pages... sorry for the lapse...

Romacop, Roboprof, Doctocop?

Whhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa?!?!?!?

This world is becoming more and more... DIFFERENT.

Gilligan died. Ok, everyone does, it's sad but that's not the biggest shocker... THIS is.

Go read Robocop in ROME! And trust me, it's actually more interesting than a fourth scoop of the Octagonal Corporate Plackard

I must admit, seeing him go from actor to proffessor... damn, he IS Buckaroo Banzai, and now, one of the people I most admire.

Aeghty Aeght Joins the Blogasphere!!!!

His photo is on it too. It's a Yahoo 360 blog, and they seem to want to tell you to get one too every time you click on anything. I hope that kinda calms down. Actually after seeing his, I'm thinking about setting one up too. The "BLOG" page is one, but the "TOP" page is really more of a uber personal profile page.

The big thing about this would be that "360" is the new "2000". Soon everything will be "360". Next, I bet it'll be some car, like the "new Subaru 360". I'd buy that for a dollar!

Aeghty Aeght's Blog

It's almost gone...

I haven't been posting much. Two of the last three times I went to a movie theater, I saw Star Wars. Our family has dropped a chunk on tickets, popcorn, and soda, not to mention time on this little flick, and haven't regretted a drop of it. It's a joy. Sure, by the sixth time, the duration from the "I'm pregnant" all the way to the sunset while Windu and the Jedi posse are on their way to lynch Palpy does get long in the tooth. But the sunset scene does what so many OT fans wanted with the PT... it's horrible painful death. I loved the prequels. I did hate how it looked like they'd never really connect. The fact that they do, by the end of this movie, amazes me every time. I do have one big... BIG bitch to the fine folks at Lucasfilm... Why don't we get the Drew Stuzan art on the DVD covers????

But, if you want to see a real piss poor job of giving respect to his work, try the Dreamwave book of his collected works... It's like they took a directory of unsorted art files, and printed them in a random order... they're not even sorted or have the title of the movie with them.

Oh well. I'd apologize for not posting more, but the big thing to talk about right now is the Hurricane. Go, watch some coverage... like Bill Maher said Friday night; "We [may have] got our press corps back!"

One other thing has been on my mind this week as far as bloggable things go... so tune in in a day or so for

"Why Deep Space Nine SUCKED THEN and doesn't now! (And STILL sucks for the time it came out in!!!)" See me Flip flop and not flip flop all at the same time, cause damn it... I'm a gonna... Fuck... You're gonna realize, if you enjoyed DS9, what a mistake it was to watch it then... It'll be a massive entry... see ya in a couple days... I'm gonna get some holiday BBQ tonight.

Oh. have you noticed Call for Help is back on G4, and it's with... Leo!!!!! Ya, I was shocked too. Apparently the show had come back on G4-Canada... which is apparently different than G4. But their American counterpart is airing the Canadian CFH.

Sheesh, this week...

This is supposed to be a trivial little blog... usually I post every day or every other day. A number of reasons for my neglect this week really. One; my personal rules for the content of this blog, and in a time of National crisis, it's hard to think of movies to bitch about, or even care to do so. The Daily show was coincidentally on hiatus this week, I dont watch the bland inoffensiveness of Jay Leno... I'm not going to get to political, or talk about Katrina for too long... but even here in St. Louis, I'm wondering how worried we should be about the effects of this, economically on ourselves. Aeghty Aeght has canceled our mallwalks until things settle down... Sure, the news looks bad, and a lot of people are up shit's creek right now, but cities have been destroyed before, they get rebuilt. I wondering why they don't turn New Orleans into the nations landfill. Seriously. Divert ALL trash and waste there. Fill it up. Then, rebuild.

Anyway, I've decided, with the help of a DVR married to Spike TV... to give a chance and watch every episode of... Deep Space Nine... If you JUST heard a thud, it was Nap collapsing. Nap, if you're wondering why, one number... 4400.

Well... hopefully I'll see a movie or something at some point... maybe I'll just start doing comics reviews here.

Oh, Keypunch Monkey thought I was picking on sports fans? Which is odd considering I was complaining basically about how they pick on nerds.

Oh... one LAST reason I've been posting a little less. I've been trying Firefox, and the Google toolbar spellchecker has a problem with the "Create" tab in Blogger. I'm doing this in IE. I don't know which I like better yet... but I tried Thunderbird, and it kicked Outlook Express to the curb.

One last thought..... in the Google toolbar spellchecker... if you don't capitalize Google, it marks it as wrong!!!!

Monday...

I need to draw, and catch up on some other things...

I COULD gripe about things like fat bitches who park in fire lanes, or Dierbergs only catering to people who need to pay a fortune for the same shitty margerine that's half the price at Wal Mart... but, I'm going to try to lower my stress level.

Just watch Icon War

Things learned from Google earth!!!

Today's installment.

Don't try to dig a hole to China!

From the U.S., you'd drown. Going straight through the globe will put you in the southern half of the Indian Ocean, in those toasty warm Antarctic waters. They're famous for their weather too ;) Actually to dig a hole to Beijing, you'll need to start in the middle of Argentina.

Movie: Howl's Moving Castle

I should just star using the X-Play scale. If so, this would probably be the 3rd movie of the year to get a 5 out of 5.

It's August, and I just got to see this. I know I slack occasionally but still, This just hit town. I'm going to list a few things; iced tea, waffle cones, toasted ravioli, Budweiser, Energizer batteries, Tums... If any of those ring a bell then St. Louis isn't a total cr@p-berg in the global sense. But when it comes to so many events relating to entertainment, we're just shit on constantly.

In the comic book store the other day, the owner and I were discussing how concerts barely sell through here in many cases and more often than they should, they pass us by completely. The niche movie market thinks suburban St. Louis is a bunch of beer stupored illiterates who, aside from sporting events a few watch as drones, after a trip to church the day before we mow our lawns, we have no interest in anything outside Wonderbread and the three most heavily marketed movies of the week.

This town is just killing me, and anyone I know with even a hint of intellectual curiosity, or verve. This is a town of neatly kept lawns, no bookshelves in homes, and sports on EVERY TV in ANY bar or restaurant. Would having ONE set on cartoon network fucking KILL THEM? I'm hating sports more than ever for what it represents in this town. It's a symbol of antidiversity. It's the symbol of a boring town, where if you are remotely capable of enjoying the beauty in a movie like Howl's Moving Castle, and are above the age of eight, you're a God-Damned freak, a social pariah... You're untouchable, unfuckable and frankly deserve to die, they just don't say that... they smile and ask "How about those Cards?" Then they try to run you over in their SUV, while living in denial that they made such scarlet lettters of RPG's, comics, toys, and animation that their suburban children have nothing left but METH.

By the time the film ended, I was overcome with tears of joy. I was joyous for the rest of the day. Simple things could, would, and should often time bring elation and delectation! Of course if a cartoon can make you weep for joy in this town... I'm fucking surprised I wasn't torn from my home and shot for being an adult male with emotions and whimsy... I can't mention imagination or intellect, they were banned in South County in the mid nineties.

Error correction: Aeghty Aeght pointed out that Red Robin doesn't show nothing but sports on their TV's. That's a good thing. I would point out that they were started in 1969 in Seattle. [Where many good geeks go when they die ;) ] and that one time he and I took the kids there, had some burgers and shakes and dropped 50 BUCKS. In a land of dreams making better money, I'll eat there once a week.

Sorry, had some HD issues....

Coming up... a belated review of Howl's Moving Castle, and a bit on a new cell phone!

Peeved!!!! "Touch base"

Anytime... ANY TIME someone on the phone says "I just wanted to touch base with you." I get pissed. Only assholes say this, assholes and complete bitches... those phonies who you wish would fall off the surface of the planet and hurtle into the sun as scorched pain ridden corpses. Anyone who says that... hates you. If you don't want to be an asshole, quit using that phrase, quit being so freaking phony! Thank you assholes for spreading the culture of hate in our lovely society.

Xena on Galactica

Boy, I do love the casting car wreck that is the current Sci-Fi crop. Richard Hatch from the classic Galactica being on the new one. The cast of Farscape basically walking out of a Stargate, to find Romy (Lexa Doig) as their doctor (and she had an appearance on 4400)... Hell Stargate was even able to eek out some Louis Gossett Jr. for us. That's some classic TV geek cred since he was one of the leads in The Powers of Matthew Star. Well... even though Kevin Sorbo is off the map for now (new baby on the way), Sci-Fi Channel was recently boasting that Xena, Lucy Lawless, is going to be on Galactica!!! PROBLEM! You might not be able to recognize her... Here's some help.

Yes, that's her. :)

The Lining's listed on Blogwise!!!

Blogwise - details about Tin Cage Lining
and Blogarama...

Yay!!! Moving up in the Blogasphere! Earning that Google rating 2/10....

Candy company has better agent than Diddy...

Look at this... Milky Way bar really satisfies scientists - Science - Features - In Depth I had read a brief about this in the paper this morning, and found myself Googleing "Milky Way Bar" too read more... alas, until they name a galaxy Reese's and find a peanut butter cup in it's center, I won't be happy ;)

Diddy must have the best agent in the world.

I remember a number of years ago reading a story about David Hasselhoff having this big concert, live on pay per view, and walking backstage during a break, and saw a white Bronco going down the Santa Monica freeway. That has to be the worst timing ever.
Last night, and even in this morning's USA Today, the fact that P. Diddy dropped his P was all over the place. Owner-operator truckers are making less right now than the kid you gave me my McBiscut and Diddy can get that type of press, while there is a war on... I am in awe of his press agent. Awe. He's changed his name more than Constantinople times any city in Russia plus the Balkans. What ever field you are in, get his agent!
Confession: I am so un-hip, a few years ago I thought he was actually a number of people with similar names. Of course, as a kid in the '80's who damn near couldn't name more than three or four bands, I thought u2 was actually a bunch of bands too...

Google Earth as an eye on history.

If you don't have Google Earth, I can't recommend a more entertaining or cheaper download. If we had had tools like this in grade school... Anyway, once you get past looking at your friends houses and figuring out if your girlfriends' car was in front of a friends house back in winter of '01-'02, or looking down on every MLB stadium to catch batting practice in session... and after you've noticed the Capitol Building is mosaiced but Area 51 isn't... or that there are some surprisingly clear pictures of North Korea, I mean stunning... you can see more shit there than in Indiana... (spooky voice) We're WATCHING YOU!!!! AFTER you've done all of that... Look at the world, the places you hear about on the news all the time, look at the countries...

They're BROWN. They're DIRT. It doesn't take long to realize that aside from Europe, Canada, US, Japan and New Zealand this planet is a piece of SHIT. Okay a CHUNK of China looks okay too... but most of this planet looks uninhabitable, there are moons of Jupiter and many parts of Mars looking friendlier than anyplace ending in -stan. You might even begin associating problems in the world with the amount of ugly a country has. Results may vary, either way Google earth is a cool toy.

My NEW Blog...

No, this one isn't going away, but there's another topic I feel strongly about. You do too. I may not even know you, but I know you do too.

It's a boring little blog.

I don't even call it a "blog", blog being short for weB LOG. So, I call it a Slog.

I hope you start one too.

Please give it a look... http://63129slog.blogspot.com/

If you blog, start one for your own Zip-code.

I update it whenever I see the price change up the street...

I wish I had started it sooner, then I would be able to look back, and more easily remind myself that exactly 360 days ago, basic unleaded was $1.10 cheaper a gallon. For every tank of gas, that's one less DVD...

DVD: Meet the Fockers

Mourning period over. Back to the soul of this lil blog.... what was it? Oh, movies and such. So I saw Meet the Fockers today. My DVD player was having a helluva time, as it does with borrowed DVD's. It's old and has little tolerence for how others store their collections, seemingly face down in birdcages. I haven't seen Meet the Parents. Actually, this may sound odd, but I don't GUSH over DeNiro, or even Hoffman. I've always liked their work, but it has always felt like a requsite love fest for both of these men. If you LOVE film, you gush like a Bratz doll over DeNiro. Screw that. Really. Actually there's nobody I really GUSH over... maybe some actresses... you know what. I'm in a bad mood. You'll be here when I get back, I'm gonna take a few minutes, maybe when I get back, I can FORCE myself to be a good moivie geek and GUSH over Robert De Niro. Okay, I'm back... boy, a phone call with Eighty-Eight can sure kill time. I'm in a better mood... wait, straing to LOVE De Niro, and... nope. Nothing. He's so good at what he does, so why don't I gush over these great actors who set the bar. Simple, that's really where the bar should be. He's a great actor, yes, but I won't gush. It's sad that we live in a world that when people do their job well it's exceptional. It's just a reminder that most people do a shittty job at anything. We brag when auto mechanics or dentists do their job well for us, when they don't screw us out of a couple bills for work that didn't need to be done. The shyster has become the norm. Phoning it in is expected. C averages and 100 IQ's all around! Yay. Expecting mediocrity leads to gushing over proffesionals. With this movie, everything is on a proffesional level. It was funny, and that was it's job. It made us laugh. We had a good time. I could complain, but comedy shouldn't be held to surgical critisism if it works. Here, it works, so why even dwell on anything to complain about? Any critic who sees a comedy and can write a positive critism, didn't really enjoy it. They're lying. With comedy it's either, I laughed or I didn't and here's a lengthy explination why you would never wish this torture on white collar criminals. It's a worthy rent. Worth more recorded off of cable. Worthless on commercial TV, as if it should ever be shown there. Okay, fine, I DO have a bone to pick with this movie... would it have been TOO MUCH to get Gwyneth Paltrow in these two movies. Have her play her mother's daughter? I've nothing against Teri Polo, except she doesn't look like Blythe Danner. I guess I should say something nice to... GUSH over something.... This is Andrew Neskoromny's BEST art direction to date. The whole art department and set design team did a damn fine job, and their work is ussually overlooked. Oh, and yes of course De Niro and Hoffman kick tail in this... they were cast, and showed up. They did what they always do, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Peter Jennings: A Eulogy

July 29, 1938 - August 7, 2005

Anyone who has known me, knew what a nightly habit "Peter" was. In our family, that name, that word, was synonymous with "news". My children even called the news "Peter". My son even "dressed" up as Peter for his first Halloween. He was only a few months old, but he did have a blue dress shirt and tie that he hadn't fussed about wearing. I wasn't about to be like so many parent and put him in one of thosefloppyy eared full body costumes that babies hate so much, so I printed up a name tag with a picture of Peter Jennings dressedsimilarlyy to put on his shirt. I never knew the man personally, the closest I have to that is an autographed photo, but knowing someone personally, for a man in his position isn't required for mourning.

An artist may die, and leave behind a catalog of work. This isn't like Stanley Kubrick dying, or even Gene Rodenberry to me. With Stanley and Gene, as artists they left behind works like Dr. Strangelove, 2001 or Star Trek. We'll always have those works at least. Both of those men in particular left works that lived on after them; A.I for Stanley Kubrick and Andromeda for Gene Rodenberry, not to mention the rest of Star Trek (an open bitching to Rick Berman here is compelling but has no place here.) This is akin to, if not worse than Jim Henson's passing.

When Jim Henson died, we felt that Kermit died to. Afictitious s character is supposed to have a quality that even artists don't, they're immortal. But, to everyone of OUR generation, Kermit will always be partly dead. There are many who can summon a likeness of his voice, I can do it well enough to please my children and those easily amused, but the true essence of him died with Jim Henson.

With artists you have art to keep. I went into this to show what a different niche Peter was in. All he did was tell the news. It doesn't sound like much. Rodenberry gave us a dream for a bettertomorroww, withoutprejudicee or poverty, but with boundless unexplored potential. Kubrick gave us intricate visions of lust, status, war...Alll perceptions of man's limitations [mostly] through arrogance. Jim Henson cultivated a spirit in a generation that could appreciate the simple, and relax in a world of ever accelerating change. A generation of kids coming up in his diminished influence arefrightenlyy uncomfortable. A vision of the future. Reflections on human weakness. Peaceful, easy going comfort in ambition and dreams. All Peter Jennings did was report the news.

How could his be the greatest loss of this group of men? He embodied what made those other three so great. To look ahead, or reflect back, you need a clarity of what is "now". Every week night, Peter provided that clarity of the world, as it was that day. Every night the news was given a purpose for how you could use it fortomorroww. It's important to pause here, and say that I stated "could use" not "should use". Many journalists are accused of having agendas, and for many intoday'ss news world, even at Peter's own World News Tonight, this is shamefully evident. With Peter, we never really knew where he stood. That was his job, to allow us to interpret the news. It is also to his credit, that he kept reigns on his broadcast to shy from the easy and the sensationalistic and appeal more than many of his rivals, to the intellect. Information to go intotomorroww, and reflection open to your interpretation. I'd like to think that Rodenberry and Kubrick would both be proud, of such a substantial day to day contribution to so many lives.

But it is in the spirit of Jim Henson that the true appeal to Peter Jennings resided. Only Kermit the Frog could have possibly delivered true anddevastatingg world events with such a calming charisma. Peter Jennings was telling you what was going on, never panicked or overtly sentimental in situations where it was uncalled for. He wasprofessionall, a calm in so many storms. No matter what he was telling me, I knew it would all be okay, even on some of the worst days in history. That, is an air of tranquility that Jim Henson, I believe, could have been proud of.

I still havecontributionss of those men, those artists, on DVD. Their art will live on, regardless ofreinventionss maintaining the integrity of their work, the originals remain as art should. The news, the events of any given day, and of the historical days...Wee have already been feeling the loss for some months. We will never again have the worlds events through such imperturbable clarity, embodied in an unmet friend. It was appreciated, and is now gone

Get a Galactica Picture Fix!!!

SuperiorPics Celebrity Forums: Battlestar Galactica Season 2 promos

Ya know. If the Cylons had built JUST women, and built enough for every man in the colonies... they'd have surrendered, gladly. Okay, I might of... you would too.

Oh, while on Galactica, mega props to Michael Hogan (Col. Saul Tigh) for playing the worst scum I think I've ever seen on TV. Damn near in anything. Mr. Hogan, I felt hate watching you these past few weeks. Worse hate than watching politicians trash real world things you really care about. There was some powerful acting mojo. If it wasn't award worthy, then it's proof awards are bullshit. Oh, Kate Vernon (Tigh's wife) gets a little credit too. They have achieved negative chemistry. When they're in a room together, you want to pry them apart with a sharp and rusty crowbar before you puke. Pure cumbustable evil when combined, yet it's never over the top or cheesy like so many attempts at that type of character dynamic.

Movie: Steamboy

Back in May, I saw Kingdom of Heaven. It's blog entry was almost entirely about a films pedigree. Well, after a 16 year wait, the guy who made Akira crawled out of his hole, didn't see his shadow, and made another feature. I've had the DVD since it came out, but waited to watch it with family. This was a special occasion. I still remember coming home with that first VHS of AKIRA. My first viewing, the first week I had it. Akira is one of my favorite movies. So, if you've seen Akira, I tend not to pay attention to movies... Then This is NOT what Steamboy is... Kaneda did not get telleported to an alternate Manchester England of 1866 where the Colonel has become A) Breetai from Robotech, B) Darth Vader C) His Father D) All of the above, piled up in a cathouse orgy of WTF!!! But, at NO point will I bitch about the characters, including the rich bitch girl who DOESN'T know weapons actually kill people. Maybe that work, it's 1866 and she's dress up like a slut in the making. Nothing but pink can touch her ass.
I bought this movie sight unseen, regardless of reviews. Based solely on Otomo's name. Whether I ever thought about wanting my money back while watching it tonight is a private matter. I won't drone on about it, for I've had to much droning. I won't go into the unspecial features... and lets see.... Nap would be pissed if I didn't say something nice... The backgrounds are amazing. It's an amazing film to watch. It just doesn't do much. It's BIG, and LOUD, with great sound... but.... It's not the layered multi-faceted amaze-fest Akira was. This is visual, and occasionally kinetic.
I don't disslike this movie at all. It's good. I'll repeat....

IT'S GOOD

Got that. But, it's not Otomo.... well, not AKIRA. This is the sad reckoning, that there will never be another AKIRA, and that Otomo, is no where close to being what we really wanted him to be, another Miyazaki.
I hope Otomo does more anime, more frequently than this... I don't want to be nearly fifty the next time I see one.
Rent it. At least to see how pretty the pictures are.

Sketchbook entry. 0002

Yay, another one. Maybe I'm on a roll... or at least back on the horse. I know it's been awhile on this guy, but some DAYS I was only getting a few minutes with him, and there was a week or more where I hadn't drawn at all. Between Eighty-Eight's soap-operatic life and the more dire factor of my wife cutting me off from non-diet soda. The only "Diet" soda I'll drink is Diet-Rite, and it is.... WITHOUT CAFFINE! Hard indeed. ;)

Trailer park roundup...

It must be boring and hot in the burbs... probably going to do a Borders run in a bit... wander around a bookstore wishing it were more quiet than it is. But, as I'm stalling on that, it was a good time to catch up on some movie trailers. We used to have to pay to see these things in front of movies we couldn't care less to see. Now we just need Quicktime. I, like a whorish bitch downloaded Quicktime 7 JUST FOR the...

Ghost Rider trailer. This one is already stinking up the place. Why, why a star? I love Nicholas Cage... but he's NOT a box office draw... frankly he's too good of an actor to be. National Treasure, Gone in 60 Seconds, Matchstick Men... Fuck. His movies shoot out right, left, sideways and crooked at all types of different audiences. So, you take a movie, lets be honest, and FX Horror / Comic book movie... and plug a STAR into the lead role of FLAMING SKULL FOR A HEAD? He's NOT supposed to look like a star... he's supposed to be a FLAMING SKULL. Changing back and forth is... OK. BUT, this movie will live and die buy the amount of time that skull head is on screen. Don't be cheap... your trailer looks cheaper than a fan film.

A Sound of Thunder: I've been waiting for you. Fuck me. ANYTHING I liked in print, has FUCKED me this year on screen. This thing has been hosed with the uncreative juice... doesn't even look like the same movie we saw trailers for a couple of years ago... but, hey, it might still have a chance, I mean, if ANACONDAS : THE BLOOD ORCHID can be good... anything can be right? Moving on...

Thumbsucker: I didn't make it up, it has to be an indie flick. Indie alert! But, Neo is an orthodontist, and (lemme to be the first to say) the era of Swingers is dead. You hear me Keypunch, the age is over... Vince Vaughn... plays a High School teacher. If you're allergic to idies, this one will go right past you... If you're a fan of Swingers... I'm talking to at leat one out there... go to apple and look at it.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose: Ooooo science can't work cause the DEVIL is REAL. I loved Constantine... Devils Advocate, even the Excorsist. I hate "Based on a True Story" What CRAP. IF it were based on a true story, then the title would be The Exorcism of Anneliese Michel. Of course her real story has a "Demon" who says he's Hitler, speaking with the wrong accent, and a bunch of clergy and her parents serving time for starving her to death in her bed, since they were freaked out apparently by the movie "The Exorcist". This movie doesn't look to be any of that. Based on a True Story... my ass.

Just Like Heaven: Oh crap... I should just quit now. It's Ghost... but with singles. What is this, Church? Fuck. Thanks Mel Gibson. Quick, greenlight a movie based off Prescious Moments figurines.

The Chumscrubber: Indie alert. Great cast. The Kevin Bacon Game has to be down to like 4 degrees after this one. Looks like the plot is more agnst about having a great life in white suburbia. If I could afford to live here, I wouldn't have any agnst at all. Looks.... boring.

Barnyard. I'm done. I can't take anymore. I know, and Nick Films kids CG cartoony flick... BUT if your combination of Kleenex spared man juice and one that missed making a splash on a Kotex, are old enough to sit, for over 30 minutes in a dark movie theater, and don't KNOW THAT COWS, that give MILK are NOT BOYS, as in NOT MALE. Then you are a waste of a parent. Please use birth control.

So, the parents who would raise small children to find Barnyard funny, are pretty much the ones in Chumscrubber, the demographic that Just Like Heaven and even The Exorcism of Emily Rose are trying to reach. Fuck it. Maybe Ghost Rider and A Sound of Thunder won't be that bad at all.

Oh in Ghost Rider... Peter Fonda is the devil. Nice. Too young to know who the hell he is... it's okay, the bike is purdy.